Translate me!

Showing posts with label bridezilla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bridezilla. Show all posts

Thursday, 23 October 2014

I'm back!

Well, I'm back. Ring on finger and head firmly out of the clouds I have come back to reality with a bump!
And you know what; I think I'm here to stay. Just because I'm not still planning a wedding it doesn't mean I don't have to stop. There are plenty of amazing blog sites out there which help you plan your wedding and I won't be competing with that. However I might just be having a go at helping you over the bumpy bits both pre and post 'I do'.
BF (now Dr L as his cover is about to be spectacularly broken) and I had the most incredible day. Here are a few pictures for you to see how we did it.
What do you think? Did I manage to look calm and controlled?
Heck yeah! I had the best day ever. Not only did it not pass in a flash but I remember every last second of it. Proof that embracing your inner Bridezilla and dealing with her calmly makes your day just as awesome as if you pretended you were gliding through everything stress free.
Enjoy and I'll be back with a post next week!



Need a quirky way to display your table names?
Why not use ceramic pens (from Hobbycraft) on plates collected from boot fairs,
decorative wall paper and some excellent 'dad in law' DIY skills making it up?


Marks and Spencer wedding cake with some sugar
craft additions made an awesome, mid budget cake


              
Our theme was our favourite authors. Each table had two books
to show people where to sit. Try Abe books for good second hand deals. 
Dr L and his Best Man Matt looking dashing in their
home made cravats - made inexpertly by moi!


  
Beg, borrow and steal pretty lanterns. Magical at night.
Sweetie tables are a must especially when you can
get custom made bags made up on Ebay from £5 for 50.



The Bridesmaids and Flowergirl with a bit of Autumn colour popping in their bouquets from Daisy Chain!




A rather over enthusiastic confetti shower. My advice....don't give out too much confetti! Bought on Ebay here.

Mr Selfridge's Car from Odd's Car hire. Love love love.

The much debated shoes. Comfortable and well worn on Honeymoon.
 


Wedding Beer festival? 100% success.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

And on the subject of shoes.....

Very quickly also I would like to recommend the most incredible website in the world to women everywhere, not only those getting married.

Shoes of Prey are literally amazing. Where else can you build your idea shoe from start to finish and have it sent to your door from £179? Granted, living in the UK it's unfortunate that they are based in Australia, but what's a little postage and packaging these days for beautiful shoes?

Were I to have fantasy shoes that didn't make me a) 8 foot tall and b) crippled in a mere half hour (I don't wear high heels very often), I would buy these beauties. At £193 with a 365 day remake, they are pretty lovely:

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Two Dresses or Not Two Dresses? That is the question.

I am going a bit more bridal frou frou with this one everyone. Let’s talk about Two of Everything. As the wise band Nelson said, ‘Two heads are better than one, double the pleasure, triple the fun’. Is it though? And when is two just one too many?
 
Life is geared up to couples, true – when I was single it was often a point of frustration that I had no-one to share the financial cost of going to a friend’s party or wedding if it were far away. However, now BF and I pay out of our joint account, I actually find myself feeling like I am paying more. After all, if I shared a £100 room with a friend back ‘in’t good old days I would have paid £50, right? Now I pay £100 to all intents and purposes; it just comes from our joint account.
 
Now, we have two wedding rings and even two engagement rings. Some people have two types of wedding cake. Many women have two sets of wedding shoes (high ones and low ones) and others even have two weddings. You can often do a better job in general with two people. But you can’t have a fight on your own. And sometimes two is just too many for some jobs.
The decision to have a second dress is one which a lot of women think about, even if it’s briefly dismissed. And why not? It is the only time in your life when you will spend that amount of money on a dress. And if you have ever tried to dance or do anything sensible in a long frock with a train, you will understand why it’s nice to have maybe a shorter version for the evening. Why stress it really? If your bustle doesn’t work do you want to be worrying about it being ripped as people get more enthusiastic or even (god forbid) being unable to dance because the bloody thing is getting in the way?
 
 
Many people decide that they will combat this choice by having a day dress (long) and then have a separate dancing dress which they can have a good boogie in. And maybe show off their shoes….  In fact, a number of articles on the Telegraph online, Inside Weddings and Brides Website talk about this choice some women make. Even the Huffington Post and the NY Times got involved. People were doing it long before Kim Kardashian did it. Wedding boards on The Knot and Wedding Bee are full of the question, ‘Should I wear two dresses?’ Interesting that they feel they need ask permission of their peers … More on that later.
 
My friend’s sister went the whole hog and had two different dresses, a longer ballroom style dress and then a short 1950’s one for the evening.  Her take on the 'two dress is better than one' question was: ‘I only bought the second dress the week before the wedding as I thought at the last min it would be good to have something shorter I could dance in. My first one was from Monique L’Huillier and the second one was Phase Eight. I was really glad I had a second one, it was much more relaxed for the party section of the day. I also went all out with a second pair of shoes from Jimmy Choo, the short dress really showed them off.’
 
The other option of course is to get one dress which gives you the option of having two dresses without having to get changed, Poppy Delevingne style which is generally more practical and less expensive in the long run. Also it means a quick change of 5 minutes doesn’t turn into half an hour in the loo changing. There are even websites like this one, 2in1 which have two in one dresses for this very purpose. The wedding industry is wising up… You only have to look at the number of very expensive lace tops offered in most bridal shops to realise that many people like to have this option. After all, if you’re having a church wedding you don’t really want to be flashing too much flesh but neither do you want to be trussed up like a lace turkey for your disco.

My friend MD, did a similar thing to what I plan to do myself and had a dress which could take her throughout the day from the ceremony to the party with a simple top that came off to transform the dress.
 
She told me, ‘I basically tried on a few dresses and as I got nearer to what I wanted I started to look online as well. I found my dress as I'd tried a similar one on by the same designer that wasn't quite right but I really liked the style. It just so happened that it was both affordable and 2 dresses in one - bonus! And I completely fell in love with it partly because of its versatility and how fun it was.’

Similarly, I will have a dress which might not be quite so versatile (she went from lacey, slinky bridal to full on elegant white slink backless in the evening – I was most impressed), but will have a bit more flesh on show in the evening thanks to some lace construction by Mrs McW for the church bit.



The question I am guessing that you are asking is, since when did being a bride become a fashion show? In the same way that actors used to wear just the ones dress at the Oscars, suddenly we have hosts in four or five of them.
 
 
Is it fair to call them ‘costume changes’ and should we be feeling guilty about changing our dress halfway through our big day? Surely one dress is enough?

 
I don’t know about that. Honestly, it’s an inordinate amount of money to spend on a dress. I can fully understand why many readers are rolling their eyes that women feel they want to milk one day for all it's worth while people oo and ahh over yet another wardrobe change. But if you want to have a great dance in the evening and you’re getting married at 1pm, why wouldn’t you have a cheaper dancing option to change into? I can't see how anyone would object to that as a practicality, even if you don't agree with it in theory.
 
I haven’t quite gone for two, mainly as I want to get my money’s worth out of number 1 and will most likely stay in it until I’m forced out of it, but I have made sure that I get a second shot at the whole ‘I’M A BRIDE!’ feeling regardless.
 
We have wound up having a second reception to fit in M&D’s friends and some of our chums who have families (we are strictly no children on the Saturday) and M felt it was important to be ‘bridal’ for both. I refused to put the dress from the previous day on (I have done enough plays in period costume to know that I’ll never want to put it on ever again after spending 14 hours plus in it) so I went for a second option.

Today was an exciting day at work as my second dress arrived. It is a particularly beautiful frock from Honeypie Boutique. Amazingly enough, at £149.99 you can have a made to measure 1950’s style silk dress in any colour you want in a whole variety of styles with sleeves, over skirts, extra petticoats…the works. Frankly I’d have had it for my actual wedding dress.
I might be mildly in love with this site.

I cannot therefore stand here and say that you shouldn’t have a second dress. However I do think that if you can’t afford a second dress and want one, restrain yourself! Remember, want is different to need. If you can afford it, well, you technically only get married once. There is a little Kim Kardashian in every woman deep down….

 

Monday, 7 July 2014

It Fits!

Despite nearly being sick in the changing room, I would just like to say that the dress fits! I went out and had a well deserved comfit of duck leg with creamy potatoes, ate half a packet of gluten free chocolate fingers and had a glass or five of wine. But I will be back on it this week.

 Also, I have chosen my shoes and they have wings on them. Now they are a pair of wedding shoes with a difference. Buy them here.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

Managing Expectations


I work in customer service in a company where people have very high expectations of the experience that they receive. I came there from the Royal Opera House where I worked as an usher and later an usher manager. Unsurprisingly, the House also had very high customer anticipations. I also happen to lecture bored looking students on ‘customer expectation’. It came as no surprise therefore to find the wedding game has as many (or more) problems with managing high expectation as any other business.

You know and I know that this blog is ridiculous for many reasons. The very fact that I am writing articles about one day in my life and whether I will cope with it without turning into some kind of insane killing machine is in itself pretty absurd and not a little insulting to our intelligence. But the more I go on, the more the whole thing fascinates me. I am genuinely enjoying this indulgent journey into the day of possibly the Highest Customer Expectation any person will ever experience, whether they are bride, groom or [insert position near to the bride or groom] other. And I think I may have got to the bottom of why this one day, one in the average human’s 25, 000 days on the planet is such a massively joyful, stressful, ball ache to arrange. It all comes from what we Expect.
Customer Expectation is what the customer thinks should happen and how they think they should be treated when receiving it. Let’s be clear, expect is different to want. Wanting is something you would like, but understand you can’t necessarily have. Expectation is something you form the intention of definitely owning.
‘I want you to have this on my desk by tomorrow’ vs. ‘I expect you to have this on my desk by tomorrow’’.
Which sentence would make you more likely to get that piece of work for your manager done?
Here is an example for you. If I walk into a 5*hotel that I have paid a lot for having made a room reservation a few days prior, I not only want the following things, but I also expect them from the overall experience that I have been sold. I expect that I should be greeted in a clean and calm reception by a professional and well trained person, I expect to be told where my room is, I expect that my room is what I have asked/paid for and I expect that this will be done at the speed I want. I expect a close to perfect experience.


If I walk into a £29 a night motel however, certain elements of my expectation will be very different.


Similarly, if I am getting married I expect the day that I want, or I expect the day I have in my head at least. Every person has a picture of what they want: 
It doesn’t matter what you or I think of any of these pictures. If these are what you expect from a wedding, I cannot change that. Your expectations are yours and yours alone. You might not even know them yet until someone shows you a wedding cake and you think, ‘I really can’t see the point of a wedding cake, do we actually need one?’


The difficulty with wedding expectation is, I think, simply down to the huge amount of factors external to an individual’s expectations.  I might not be able to afford what I ‘expect’ to have, it might not be what my partner expects to have, if I’m not paying it might not be what my or my partner’s parents expect us to have and it certainly won’t be what everyone else expects to have at their own wedding or the wedding which they believe is how things should be/look/be done. When we plan a wedding we are always compromising on our expectations or having them challenged, be they for financial, personal or practical reasons.  And we are constantly managing expectations, whether they are our own or those of other people.
How we deal with these expectations is another matter. If I am dealing with a customer whose expectations of my business are higher than the service I can offer (e.g. they are going to complain whatever I do) then I would tell my students to mind the following points:
•       Effective Listening
•       Diffuse negative emotions
•       Use assertiveness
•       Negotiate

I would advise my students to keep your voice low, make eye contact, and explain calmly but firmly why you haven’t been able to provide them with 400 thread count Egyptian cotton when they paid £29 for the room, then try to work out where that expectation has come from. I am not saying that this will solve the problem (the human mind is a complex organ), but you will at least have given yourself some insight into why this person has built up the expectations they are now expressing.
Everyone has an expectation of what they think a ‘good wedding’ entails. For me it is mainly about a free bar. Really; it’s a free bar which floats my boat. Don’t judge. For other people it’s the food. Or they might have a bug bear about strapless dresses in a church or the order of service being a bit shoddy or the fact that the organist can’t play three notes together (actually, I’ll own up to that one too). Some people expect to only have close family to the ceremony while others expect to be at the ceremony as that’s the bit they enjoy the most (still on the free bar here). And I can guarantee those expectations are raised when it comes to anyone you are speaking to when you tell them about your wedding:
“But you HAVE to have….”
“ You can’t get married without a…”
“ You’ll regret it if you don’t have….”
When my colleague and close friend told me about her wedding and how she didn’t want a first dance I actually responded with, “But you HAVE to have a first dance!!”  We’re good enough friends that she gave me the eye and I retracted it quickly feeling pretty ashamed, especially when I found out she’d had the same response from about three other people. It’s not helpful, it isn’t constructive and actually, it’s a bit insulting. Why should she have a bloody first dance if she doesn’t want or expect one but everyone around her does?
And this is a minor expectation. What about the big ones? 
I know for a fact that M’s expectations were that I’d have a big wedding. Imagine how her expectations would have been challenged by my going to Vegas to be married by Elvis instead of the local vicar? I think she would have supported me if it was what I had always wanted, even if it didn’t match up to her expectations, but it would have definitely been a struggle and a disappointment.
It would not just have run contrary to M’s expectations. Friends who have known me for all of my life and who are highly traditional would have definitely made their opinions on this clear (as only these kinds of friends can) and I am sure that the expression, “But you have to’ or ‘You can’t do XYZ’ would have been forcibly drummed into me whenever I visited my parents. It wears you down and the temptation is to give in because it's easier. Don't start me on Shoes vs. Sandals....
Everyone has an opinion. Once you accept this is how it is and that people will always have different expectations to your own, it’s how you deal with these expectation conflicts that count. My advice is to make a game plan between you and your fiancé about what you both expect from your wedding day before you tell anyone and then make it clear what you’re having with no compromise from the start as my colleague has. But if you aren’t that organised like BF and I you have two choices:

1)
  

   2) Effective Listening, diffuse negative emotions, use assertiveness and if you feel you have to, NEGOTIATE!
I am going to leave you with my favourite expectation concerning weddings.
I asked my niece of five to draw me a wedding dress. I was expecting something big, something white and something magnificent (or  something  like a dress that Elsa from Frozen would wear). The results were surprising. 


Goes to show.

Monday, 28 April 2014

Hen and Stag Do's


I’m sitting here on the sofa opposite BF who is currently organising a Stag Do. Not for himself. His good friends H & H are getting married this June and he is Best Man for H.

Currently we are discussing things I would never usually have expected to be discussing with BF. Things like colours of the stag t-shirts. Fonts. What should his nickname be (Dr Dick – did you really have to ask?!). The size of the men who are going – wahaaay! You get the idea.

H, the groom BF is BM-ing for, is having what sounds like an epic, Stag-Man fest. They are going to Prague as a group. I mocked it at first and now actually I’m a bit (much) jealous. It’s starting to sound AWESOME! They have t-shirts with nicknames on them. They are being met at the airport and taken around Prague with either a man who looks like this







or a woman who looks like this




who will take them to all the best bars and organise their time away. It’s not even that expensive. They get to fire guns. GUNS. I’m anti guns and I am still jealous.

And it’s Prague. Even if I’m drunk the whole time (in all fairness, they spend most of every episode of Mad Men drunk) and miss its majestic beauty and splendour, I would love to go. So yes, I am ragingly jealous. Because there is something I genuinely think is liberating about a group of people heading out on the town dressed in some horrific get up celebrating with their friends until they all wake up in the same chip shop at 3am with a Donar Kebab stuck to their face.

BF is actually doing a much quieter affair for his own Stag Do and is heading to his home city to follow the ale trail and go Clay Pigeon shooting. His dad, my dad and all of our brothers will be there so I’m not expecting it will be too raucous. At least, I suspect not. You never know how it will turn out when you get enough testosterone, real ale and men in a small pub space. But I suspect it will be a thoroughly nice, drunk time had by all with few in the way of strippers, hookers and burying them in the desert after a coke fuelled party. Who knows.

I have always been aware of the contentious nature of Stag and Hen Do’s. There are a number of reasons why people don’t like them, which I shall attempt to express:



   1)They celebrate the rowdy ‘lad culture’ 

    which is so abhorrent to many who have to share their city centre with a bunch of loutish members of either sex with their skirt up their arse, their shirt off (in either sex let’s face it) or urinating in the street. But then, that’s a normal Saturday night to a lot of folks. So are Hen Do’s or Stag Do’s really increasing the after effects of this display of primal mating rituals and drinking escapism? Not in my books. They just    wear more L plates and specially printed t-shirts. 



2) The Price. 

   The average Hen Do or 
    Stag Do used to take place at your local boozer the night before the wedding. This was back int’ good old days when you didn’t live with your spouse. Now they range from £50 for activities and 
     a picnic to some cracking holidays in the UK, Spain or Prague for £200+ (see the StagdoCompany for all of the 
     Boobs and Guns you could ever hope 
     to handle – ha ha – or Hen Heaven for some Shots and Giggles) and even some luxury sites which cater for the more discerning (ahem) Hen or Stag here. But it’s a lot more than a night at the pub would cost, even in London, and also involves a lot more organising which leads me to…. 
 3) They are a logistical nightmare to organise for the lucky Best Man or Bridesmaid. Frankly, if a company wants proven experience in Project Management, they should include Hen Do organisational skills. My Cousin E who is organising my own Hen Do, despite being a tame and quiet affair in comparison with the mega events she has organised in the past, or the massive group BF is shipping to Prague should have some kind of NVQ qualification. I tip my hat to them.


  4) They have been tainted by the TOWIE tar brush. 

     Ok, awful looking Hen Do’s and Stags have been around since Benedorm was first a resort, but everyone now tries to outclass themselves with ‘who can do the least tacky/most tacky hen do’ from this to this. Seriously, apparently now they are genuinely considered to be tainting Blackpool. Tainting Blackpool?! At least they are USING Blackpool, which is more that the Great British Public did in the 1980’s and 1990’s. See here for more on that. 

I love a good hen do. I have had some wonderful nights. Mrs B’s Hen do which started in a classy Greenwich cinema and continued on to where I have photos of myself and my university friends in the City franchise of Reflex wearing leg warmers on our arms, golden fake boobs, visors and giant sunglasses. My Cousin R’s Hen do in Monmouth where we hired a medieval house, played ‘pin the codpiece on the King’ and salsa’d until late in Bristol. Mrs O’s which was in Spain – yes Spain, where her folks had a flat, we got a mini holiday and tans for the wedding.

Then there are the bad ones where I knew no-one and felt awkward. I have had a fair few of them.

Hen Do awkwardness is the worst. Give me a like if you’ve ever felt that gut wrenching, bone crunching awkward moment when you realise that you know no-one on the night out, you have nothing in common with anyone, you try and try and just can’t get drunk enough and you’ve bankrupted yourself to attend. Plus, you weren’t told you had to bring a costume and you’re the only one in a cocktail dress while everyone else is a sexy cowboy. Painful.

Bachelor Parties to Americans (Bachelorette Parties to the Ladies), Junggesellenabschied to the Germans, maanhaar partytjie in South Africa and enterrement de vie de garcon to the French, or literally the death of the bachelor. Lovely. Stag Do however in the UK, please. 



The Romans were pipped to the ‘weird wedding tradition invention’ in this instance by the Spartians who apparently invented the Stag Do in the 5th Century BC as a way of celebrating a man’s last night single. Which bearing in mind Sparta was a male dominated country like the rest of Ancient Greece sounds suspiciously like an excuse to party their arses off. By 1896 one Herbery Barnum Seeley’s stag do was broken up by police for allegedly displaying a nude belly dancer. Jimmy Stewart had midgets jump out of a serving dish. Top that y’all. 




Did they traditionally wear stag horns? 

Apparently fake stag horns are now popular to wear on a stag do. Why? As far as I can see, while the Horned Man remained an integral part of British Folk Law as a symbol of fertility, he has nothing to do with a man’s last night as an unmarried Buck – oh wait, there we go. Horns in mythology in the British Isles also represent Kingship and I suppose the man is ‘King of his Friends’ for the day.



Then in all fairness, girls wanted in on it and the Hen Do was born. Hen Do’s really didn’t exist until the 1940’s (Eleanor Roosevelt had one – she was already married but she still called it a ‘Hen Party’ so we’ll count it). Katie Price got Botox on her Hen Do. Yes really. See here. Kate Middleon had a quiet night in. Different strokes for different folks.

There is also a seedy side to the whole affair I know. I am not trying to say that it’s all innocence and laughter.



I am not a fan of intimidating Stag or Hen Do’s – you know, the ones who get into a club or bar en masses and act like they’re Pitbull/Jennifer Lopez/both Pitbull AND Jennifer Lopez but tackier. I hate the idea that my BF will even step foot in a strip club and am vehemently anti sex industry when it comes to Stag or Hen Do’s, the sex industry in general in fact. I am intelligent and worldly enough to understand why I don’t want my boy stepping foot into places where enforced working conditions tantamount to female slavery and the violence which many of these women are involved with (endemic to an industry that many have not chosen to follow) is rife. 

You only have to look at the Stag Do activity names to see how hyper-sexualised and derogatory towards women a lot of these holidays are (not to mention the faintly nauseating pictures of women sucking guns/wearing very little – no boys, it’s not empowering, it’s called ‘sexual objectification’ – watch the Ted Talk here) with names like ‘Big Guns and Strippers’.



The Hen side of Last Night of Freedom.com is like stepping onto a different planet. It’s pink. Look at the coy girls giggling at the man with most of his modesty covered. They are wearing face masks. FACE MASKS. There is a poledancing trip. But you actually get to Pole Dance instead of watching someone else pole dance. Mud wrestling. Where you get to mud wrestle your friends. In Private. There is one picture of a semi-naked man. Evidently this website knows what women want. Or thinks it does.

You can buy t-shirts with the Stag or Hen’s name on them. You can buy Willy Head boppers. Willy straws. In fact, anything in a willy shape. Tutus. Hire the  Butlers in the Buff to come and wait at your table. Have some Pole Dancing Lessons. For J’s wedding, C and I organised a Burlesque Lesson for all followed by a night out in Leeds. In corsets and pants. Epic. You can go skiing, go to Antarctica, go skydiving, go to Las Vegas or Skeg Vegas. You can do anything you want so long as you have the money to do it and the friends who want to go with you.

So yes, you can look at a Stag Do or a Hen Do as a 'waste of money' over 'something trivial' which is, if I’m honest, how I tended towards looking at them a few years ago when I was working a low paid job with limited holiday. After all, you’re about to pay for a hotel at the wedding location, buy an outfit/hat, travel and get a gift to see your friend get married. To pay £400 on top for a Hen do (which is ball park when you add up accommodation/travel/activities) seems a bit much.

But if you really want to go, you’ll find the money and the time. Because basically a Hen Do (or a Stag Do) is an excuse to get together, let off steam and have some fun.  It’s mainly innocent. Yes, some taxis get hurt and Blackpool gets a bit less family orientated every time a group gets dressed up as their favourite super heroes or duct tape their mate naked to a street lamp.  I am vehemently against anyobjectification of images of men or women and I feel sick that anyone thinks visiting strip clubs is ‘normal’ or a ‘right of passage’ but heck, they sell boppers with penises on them. They are in the main, bloody good fun and well intentioned.

Cousin E, any chance we can change the Hen Do to Blackpool?